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Amanda made me make one.
http://strictly-rude.tumblr.com/

And if this is what it takes
Just to lie with my mistakes
And live with what I did to you
All the hell i put you through
I always catch the clock
its 11:11
Now you wanna talk
Its not hard to dream
You'll always be my Konstantine

Well...

Momma is having a girl. =] And from the ultrasound, she looks beautiful already

No More

CHEMO

Bath Tub

She joked and played in the suds

Naked in the old claw foot bath tub

I laughed, shaving at the mirror

I liked her because she could make me laugh

Years later, she'd tell me,

"You were shaking your head left to right, with a

dumbfounded smile and said,

'I...love...you', and then left the room"

We had never said those words before

To anyone

The way I remembered it was

After I had grabbed a t-shirt from the bedroom, I came

back into the bathroom

And saw her perched on the side of the tub

Wide eyed

She said softly,

"I love you too"

David Mcwane

Hell To Mary

I was never very religious

So I didn't learn the rules of God

When to sit down

When to stand up

Which days you can eat

Which days you can't

I didn't even know why I owned church shoes when

I was young

I never who the hell David, Michael

And Peter were

David killed a giant monster with a slingshot right?

I knew that

"What was the bread again?"

"Jesus's body, his skin?"

"Gross"

"Why are we drinking juice in such a dramatic way?"

"We're pretending it's Jesus's blood?"

"Really? Gross"

"Why was the oversized organ the choice instrument?"

It all seemed creepy to me

But that didn't stop my parents from sending me to a

Religous camp

I still couldn't tell you which one

Catholic, Protestant, Jewish

They're all the same to me

It didn't matter, camp to me was...

Juice boxes, a bouncy ball and tug of war

There was one thing that camp had us do that

Always confused me

Before we went swimming, everyone would line up

Around the pool and say,

"Hell to Mary, Hell to Mary"

Then we could jump in and swim

I knew about there being a God

And a Jesus son guy, psst he's everywhere

Even a virgin Mary

They're on the front burner of religion

But weren't we supposed to like them?

Why were we condemning Mary to hell, I thought

But I really just wanted to jump in the pool

So, I'd screm loud, like everyone else

"Hell to Mary, Hell to Mary!"

Splash!

David Mcwane

Rhonda Update

Well, we may be done with chemo. The doctor told Rhonda that had to do x amount of treatments but they also say that she needs to do radiation for the extent of radiation. She has internal radiation coming up which she's pretty scared about. The first day she does it, they told her to expect to stay the whole day. She seems like she's starting to do a lot better. Suprisingly, she's at her best the day she does chemo. I guess it's the steroids.

money in the toilet

who do they think they are
to fill the urinal with coins,
when there are at least 3 homeless men outside?
do these men of money
demand that those in need must be humiliated
befoe the are given a pocketful of change?
I didn't like it
I wouldn't have it
I dove my hand into the urinal and took all the coins out
washed them in the sink
then dried them with folded paper towls
on my way out of the bar
I handed the coinage to three homeless men
who looked to be in their upper fifties
the men were much appreciative
they smiled lovingly and called me 'brother'
as I walked on home over the Longfellow Bridge feeling
my drunk
I listened to a crew boat coasting lightly atop the Charles River
and felt the warm breeze the Boston summers release
in my thoughts, I envisioned the men who had tossed the
coins in the toilet
and as I looked to where the lamp light of high
buildings reflected on the
ripples of the rower's small wakes
I thought of the men of money
I thought,
"you little bastards"

David McWane

Feeling Good's A Simple Combination

"You drink too much"-That's what my mother screams at me
"You look too rough"-My sisters are always naggin' me
"SHe don't try enough"-Teachers holler at me
But than I tune that all right out, Pop always said "You go live free"

So what's wrong ya'll?
Nothing at all!
Does the rest of the world know there's no stopping us all?

Play the music louder
Dance a little smoother
Stoke the fire bigger
And let's love a little longer

Valentines Day

1 box of chocolate covered strawberries
1 vase full of beautiful roses
1 Cobra Starship tee shirt
1 Big D And The Kids Table tee shirt
2 Big D And The Kids Table cds
Andddddd 1 Big D And The Kids Table concert (Best. Show. Ever.)



Best. Valentines Day. Ever
I love ChrisTopper =]

And 1 year anniversary tomorrow

Nowadays

1. I hate school - I hate all going to class, having a million things to get done all at one time, waking up way too early, walking to and from in the freezing cold, and worrying about not doing well.
2. I hate worrying about Rhonda - I hate not being able to be there for her. She's going through so much and I can only be around at most once a week.
3. I hate worrying about Wes - I want to find him a job so badly. I know that he's doing everything in his power and I hate all the stress being on him.
4. I hate worrying about mom - I'm not even there to help her through her pregnancy. I want to be able to help her with Fox, the housework, and preventing her boredom.
5. I hate not being with Fox - He's my little brother and I'm missing out on everything. When we say "Ready! Set!" he will yell "Go!" now. I haven't been around for so much. I'm scared he's going to forget me.
6. I hate never seeing my family - Holidays are the only time I see everybody and I miss them. Anybody that knows me knows how strange it is that I miss them.
7. I hate bronchitis - I'm tired of not being able to breathe.
8. I hate missing my pets - All 10 of them...
9. I hate only enjoying the weekends - The weekends are the only time I have fun anymore. I'm sure TJ can back me up on this one.
10. I hate hating everything now. I'm ready for all this stress to go away.

I just want everything to go back to normal.

Update on Rhonda

Well after a surgery, they determined she is in stage 3. It's touching bone but it hasn't entered the bone yet. She's still in an extreme amount of pain. They've given her plenty of pain killers and even some morphine. See?:

Tomorrow she will finally start her chemo. She goes through one round of that and who knows how long that will take. She's also going to be going through radiation soon. She got some nifty tattoos out of it all though. The doctors needed some sort of target in order to shoot her with the radiation.

Rhonda

This is my aunt Rhonda. She likes watching UGA play, going to concerts, hanging out with friends, and most of all spending time with family. For anyone that has met her, you know that she’s an overall happy person. On January 18, 2009, after months of living with pain, fatigue, discharge, and weight loss, she was diagnosed with cervical cancer.

Rhonda went to the same doctor time and time again over months. She was always told the same thing; she was either ovulating or stressed out. She visited the ER several times only to be told to visit her doctor. She was finally given a number to call to set up a laparoscopic surgery. She called constantly for days and days. The calls always went to the answering machine. It said that they were open but were busy or with another patient.

Finally giving up, Rhonda visited a different doctor. After a single visit, he told her that she had cervical cancer. This doctor figured that out after one visit. How is it possibly that the first doctor couldn’t figure it out after all those visits? Does he just not care or just not know what he’s doing. Whatever the case, he doesn’t deserve to practice medicine.

Rhonda could have been fighting this for months. Now thanks to that doctor, time is flying by. She is scheduled for a CAT scan and two pre-ops on Friday. We will know where to go from there. A surgery is scheduled for Tuesday. We have no idea if it has spread yet. All I know is that I’m going to try my hardest to make sure something happens with this lawyer so that nothing like this ever has to happen to any other woman ever again.

With all this going on, I'll be spending a lot more time in Franklin County. I'm going to be there with Rhonda as much as possible. I'll try to keep everyone updated as soon as I find anything out.